We all have different kinds of relationships with our parents as we grow- some are good and some are not so great, but these relationships are always morphing over time, as we change and experience life. The thing is, no parent wants anything but the best for their children. As your parents venture into the phase of old age, the roles do reverse. However, you have to remember that these are your parents and they do have their pride, and it’s not easy getting older and having to deal with the trials and tribulations of old age.
Some things, you should know without having to be told, and this is why we’re going to fill you in on 4 things your older parents probably want you to know.
They Don’t Need Your Money, They Want Your Time
Your parents are not oblivious to the fact that you now have your own life as an adult. They are well aware that you have responsibilities and things that need to be taken care of. The good intention is understanding by the act of want to spend on your elderly parents, but it’s important to realize that this will never replace love and care. It is a wonderful thing for you to work hard to ensure that your parents are well taken care of, just as they took care of you when you were young- but it’s important for you to remember that they are not your children- it’s the other way around! So you cannot treat them as such and expect having money spent on them is enough to placate them. They are older, but they’re still your parents. They need your time and attention to really feel like they still matter to you.
They Won’t Always Listen to You
It’s hard for the roles to reverse, even though most of the time the information you’re passing along is only in their best interest. Many parents can be stubborn and feel like being told what to do is just a sign of disrespect, and as a result, they can do the exact opposite of what you’ve asked. This is especially true when it comes to their health. In some cases, the situation may become dangerous, so you need to talk to them about considering getting some extra help. This might be a sensitive topic, so before you do this, get in touch with your local aged care provider so they can tell you how to approach the subject. Your parents will not be opposed to the idea if they understand that it is a setting where the quality of life is much better and they’ll have everything they need at their disposal. This way, you won’t have to worry about them or put yourself in a situation where you’re always arguing about them not listening to you- because they won’t! You’re not their parents, after all.
Life is difficult enough as it is, especially if you’re working every day and trying to make ends meet and make a comfortable life for yourself or for your family as well if you have one. It’s easy to lose your cool with your elderly parents over a conversation or when placed in any kind of situation with them. However, you need to remember that with old age, comes new and trying ailments to both the body and mind. What they need from you is patience. They may not be able to move as quickly, react as fast as they used to, register and process certain thoughts, or their memory may be waning. They may also be suffering from certain mental ailments such as depression as well, so always think twice before losing your cool and do work on being patient – it will go a long way in securing your relationship with your elderly parents.
Delivery is Everything
Just because you’re an adult now, doesn’t mean that things change in terms of how you speak with your parents. In fact, the older they get, the more sensitive they become. This is why you need to watch what you say and how you say it. They will sense if you’re irritated or if you’re explaining something in a derogatory manner. Don’t ever do that. Always give them the respect they deserve and always remember that their pride is still intact and that you need to take care of it.
We have so much to learn about different phases in our lives and how the communication and circumstances change with our parents in each phase. When we become adults and they enter the senior phase of their life, we have to be careful about many things. This is why the 4 points mentioned here should bring to light what you need to know when it comes to dealing with your elderly loved ones.