Remodeling or renovating can be exciting, but it can also be stressful. There are additional issues that arise and conflicts that may happen between you and your partner. There are disagreements, the stress caused by clutter, and more.
Disagreements and arguments can happen in any relationship, especially during a major remodeling project. However, if you think there are some underlying reasons that are not related directly to the renovation, then you may want to consider imago relationship therapy. You can learn more about imago relationship therapy here.
Home Remodel and Relationships
There are a lot of issues that can arise during a home renovation. There may be issues with control. Even if both you and your partner want the same thing, there may be disagreements about how to move forward or who has control over the timing, process, and finances. This brings us to the next issue. Issues with money can be a conflict among romantic partners and remodeling projects are often expensive. Getting estimates can be stressful and even if you are doing the entire project yourself you may see that the time and resources will cost more than you had hoped. It is often the case that couples are not financially on the same page when it comes to the costs associated with updating or adding to their home.
Obviously, there is also the issue of taste and what both partners want to do as far as the aesthetic goes. Everyone has different tastes and what one person may want in their home, the other person may think is atrocious. Finally, home projects can be stressful and increase anxiety levels for both you and your partner. There are decisions to be made and money to be spent. Furthermore, the clutter around the home may not be the best thing for you stress levels and may even increase them. In addition, partners may manage their stress in completely different, possibly even conflicting, ways.
Communication is important for any positive relationship, but this is especially true when conflict is added to the mix. It is important that you discuss the project in detail with your partner before you begin the renovation. Talk about the goals and what you both want out of the remodel. Discuss the financial aspects and the maximum amount both of you are comfortable with spending. You may not agree on every little detail, but it is important to talk about it. Try to communicate in “I” statements like “I feel that we should see what other color options there are before deciding” instead of “You always pick ugly colors.”
It is important that you both get involved in the process. This means to pick items, colors, and resources together. If you are doing the project yourself, then get your partner involved as much as possible. Completing the project together can help to build a stronger relationship. Also, if you have children, try to get them involved in the process as well. You also need to be involved in your relationship. Do not let the home project take over your life. Make time to laugh and do things enjoyable together. Find alone time to spend together or go out of a date. These things can make a huge difference in stress levels.
There are bound to be disagreements. However, there is usually a way to compromise. You can allow your partner to make one decision if you do something else the way you want. This gets you both involved in the process and happy with some of the control and decisions. Also, another good tip is to let things go if they do not mean very much. Even if you wanted the remodel to look a certain way or believed that something should be a certain color, it may not end up being that important. If it is not the important to you, let it go and allow your partner to use the color they want.
It is not always the time to take on a large remodeling project. There are things to consider. If you are going to be working more than usual for the next 6 months, then you may want to hold off until things slow down a little. Also, if you are already having issues with your finances, you may want to put the project on hold until you are more comfortable.
A home remodeling project can be stressful and cause issues in a relationship. However, doing things at the right time and communicating with your partner can help the project go smoothly. If you disagree, then try to compromise to make both of you happy with the way things go. Decide on goals and keep them. You may also want to break the entire project up into more manageable bite sized chunks. This is especially helpful for more time-consuming projects. Finally, be sure to communicate throughout the entire renovation process.